Milan Fashion Week shitshow: PART I

So here's what happened during mens fashion week in Milan. I arrived off the train from Rome to my dear friend Ania's house with 5 c...

So here's what happened during mens fashion week in Milan. I arrived off the train from Rome to my dear friend Ania's house with 5 cases of luggage which took over her entire bedroom #fashionbitchproblems anyone? ANYWAYS I discovered that this completely gorgeous and completely hetero polish male model named Rafal was staying with her the entire week as well. Isn't he TOTALLY fuckable?

Moving on. After I got all situated we were all like "it's 6 p.m why aren't we blacked out already?". So I called my bestie Luca and told him we had 3 bottle of vodka and a hot male model. BOOM...INSTANT PARTY. So we grabbed our alcohol and our hot male model and got on the metro because I'm not cool enough to have a driver during fashion week yet.

So we arrived to Luca's fashionably late and fabulously tipsy (practice for the real fashion week parties). We got drunk on 4€ vodka and danced to Ke$ha like trashy bitches.







So finally we decided we were drunk enough to go out in public without the fear of being mistaken for sober. The first party on the agenda for the night was the Independent Model Management party. The thought of all those sloppy horny male models was almost too much for me to bear but I went anyways. LOTVS was full of the normal douche bags but all the hot male models made it bearable.







Very quickly it was very obvious that most of the models at the party were too drunk to even think about getting "it" up later. Whatevs. Anyways our gorgeous friend Melo who everybody though was a model as well but who's not really wanted to go to London Loves party at Plastic so after quick sloppy kisses with our chosen models we reluctantly left. I don't really remember what we were doing but somehow we got stuck in the parking garage because our valet was a dumb ass.

So like FOREVER later we got to Plastic and there we're these like Kreayshawn wannabes popping their goodies all over the stage. I was hella drunk so I didn't really care. Plastic was a mess as usual.



We retreated to the mirror room to take hipster pictures. Yeah we're cool, we know.




So then shit started getting really really sloppy, but that's to be expected at Plastic.




Then somehow I found myself next door at Vogue and ran back into Luca and J Lin and there was all sorts of scandalousness going on there.


At this point I was literally exhausted and incoherent and shouting at strangers to take me home so I wouldn't miss the Corneliani show the next morning at 9:30 a.m (which I did) and was a hot mess trying to find Melo and Ania and then I walked out of the club to see them standing there looking at me as if to say "Oh Louis you silly drunk bitch"


and then we went home. THE END.
to be continued.......

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