Milan Fashion Week shitshow PART II

So here's how Day 1 of the fashion week shows went. My alarm went off at 8 a.m sharp because I was supposed to be at the Corneliani show...

So here's how Day 1 of the fashion week shows went. My alarm went off at 8 a.m sharp because I was supposed to be at the Corneliani show at 9:30, HOWEVER I hadn't taken into account the damage I did to my body via vodka and tequila the night before. Somehow I threw my iphone across Ania's bedroom in a state of drunken confusion. WHOOPS. No Corneliani for Louis. 10 a.m rolled around and Ania woke me up because we were both "dressing" models backstage at the Costume National Hommes show. It was the first day of fashion week so obviously I had to look FIERCE +10 so I wore a skirt. Not gonna flaunt the labels but yes they were pric€y. CAN YOU TELL I'M HUNGOVER???

So me, Melo and Ania trudged to via Tortona for the Costume National show. We got to the venue & it it was all industrial and urban and cool and instantly I snapped out of my hangover and into my fashion week "i'm cooler than thou" mode.

So after waiting like forever for all the models (no doubt still drunk) to get their shit together we went backstage to start prepping our outfits for our models. Of course there was an overbearing PR girl acting as if we (dressers and models) were all 4 years old and incapable of following directions. If eye rolls made noise it would have been a damn thunderstorm in that backstage.

Ania being polish instantly befriended all these hot polish models and started like talking in polish to them and me and Melo were all like UMMMMM let's go smoke so we went outside to watch people arrive but really I was just posing for nobody in general hoping to get photographed. Upon going back into the venue we discovered that there was FREE WINE AND CHAMPAGNE on the stylists side of the backstage. 5 minutes later we were buzzing. Don't judge us we're gay we can do shit like this. So then it was time to start dressing our models and I had Johannes Niermann! LIKE I DIED. He was kind of snotty though but still smokin hot. This is the look I prepped on him on the runway

Costume National Fall 2012 Menswear

Anyways the show happened without a hitch. Ania had befriended this really cool polish model Daniel at this point so we all left the show together to get some quick food before racing to Dolce&Gabbana. On the way we met Anna Dello Russo the flawless goddess and she took a quick picture with Daniel

So after we dropped Daniel off at his place after making plans to get outrageously drunk that night we set off to the Metropol to the Dolce&Gabbana show (without invites of course). We met up with our friend Stefano (NOT GABBANA) and "hung out" with the rest of the "thirsty to be photographed" non invited crowd. It was cool though. I got filmed dancing for the Dolce&Gabbana music video and saw Bianca Balti so it wasn't completely pointless. Oh and River Viiperi was being mobbed by preteen girls if he was a spanish Bieber.

Anyways after repeating this at Jil Sander and Burberry we gave up and decided it was time to get drunk. We had MAJOR plans for that night. Sexy sexy sexy model Sebastian Sauve and super haute DJ Andrea Ratti were throwing a super cool party. So we invited all our fave male models over to get trashy. Meet  DANE, DANIEL, & RAFAL. Flawless cheekbones, washboard abs, and blonde all over.

And so our epic night began. We ended up in Navigli for Sebastian's (who was the epitome of fashionably late) party. We were trashed by now thanks to some cheap polish vodka. Daniel & Rafal started doing their "editorial" faces after a few shots #Malemodelproblems

Things started getting s l e a z y in the best possible way. There were models grinding.....

there were models stripping in public......

and models licking...... ( Dane and Rafal)

Sebastian Sauve & River Viiperi FINALLY arrived like a trillion billion hours late but hey when you're that hot you can do whatever the fuck you please.

We were up on the balcony feeling all Paris Hilton like surveying the clusterfuck on the dancefloor fueled by Andrea Ratti

Actually Tea was more Paris Hilton than me that night clearly looking like a croatian ice queen but whateverrrrrr. Sorry for not being a blonde anymore. Also is there a name for the disorder that makes girls make out with [PREY UPON] gay boys? ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

Somehow I made it down all those killer stairs and outside to go pester River Viiperi and tell him how I have his nudes as my phone background and stuff. No big deallllllllll

Anyways so by now at like 3 a.m? the party was DUNZO so being saturday night I HAD to go to PLASTIC to get cray cray with my bay bays.

Inside Plastic it was the usual fashion week cluster fuck. Everybody was there. When I say everybody if they're italian and matter in Milan they were there in the safe confines of Sergio Tavelli's dj booth. It was such a fucking mess in there we stayed outside smoking and being *edgy* the whole time. I was LIVING AND DYING for Luca Incani's killer jacket the whole night. Luca if you're reading this, my birthday is May 29th xoxo.

We are OH SO milano. Rick Owens and a camera filter automatically makes everything edgy right?

We decided to call it a night because we were on the verge of alcohol poisoning and the next day Daniel was walking for Missoni and I had like a BILLION shows to attend (for real this time) and it would be better for all parties involved if we weren't still drunk during these things.

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