Milan Fashion Week shitshow Part V

Here's how the FINAL day of Milan Fashion Week went. I woke up feeling flawless because I hadn't drunken anything the night before a...

Here's how the FINAL day of Milan Fashion Week went. I woke up feeling flawless because I hadn't drunken anything the night before and had gone to bed early and all that proper shit. Something told me too dress really warm so I threw on my Lanvin fur gilet and a Burberry leather motorcycle jacket and some chunky snakeskin print leggings and boots. Thank god because as I was walking to the metro it started SNOWING! So I got to the venue late as usual because my GPS was acting like a whore and only caught the ending of the show. Afterwards we went backstage to sip champagne with Dean and Dan and eat canapes and other such activites. Actually the twins were being attention whores (say that with love) and stayed in front of the cameras the whole time but it was cool. Thanks for the free booze guys!

So after cleaning out the canape table and dowing several flutes of champagne we realized that we were already late (common theme of the day it seemed) for Giorgio Armani show.

GUESS WHAT. We got to Armani Spa just as everybody was walking out. We were upset but we weren't going to miss saying hi to our favorite boys so we went around back to play paparazzi.

At this point guess what? Late for Diesel Black Gold. We practically ran there and a super awesome PR guy rushed us in throught the pitch black venue just in time for the finale. As usual we went backstage to watch models get naked and drink free booze. Always a good time. While backstage I found my male model SOULMATE. OH YES DADDY.

He's delicious

After some more free booze and attempting to get the sexy bearded model phone number we went back outside where Eleonora Carisi was vamping it up in true streetstyle fashion for Tamu Mcpherson who kept saying things like "I can never get enough of you" to her. *insert tiny eye roll and twinge of jealousy here*
Enrico Constantini was looking rather killer as well in a studded varsity jacket that I wanted to snatch and run down the street cackling with.

I was determined not to be late for Ports 1961 show which was literally one street away and I wasn't thank god. Actually we were early meaning we were 30 minutes late. The collection was stunning. Think traditional suiting meets futuristic military. For sure their half tint sunglasses reminiscent of Chanel are going to be a must have item for guys this year.

You could tell the collection was a hit because every editor had their cameras and phones up while frantically taking notes. Afterwards it was backstage as usual. And just for you I got some pictures of Clement Chabernaud in all his glory.

I was totally for the first time that week in 100% fashion week mode that day. I left the Ports 1961 backstage with plenty of time to spare to get to Enrico Coveri show which I was really excited for since he always does such fun and graphic collections. He did not disappoint this time at all. Ivy patterns with sequins, hot hot pinks, electric blues, he took it back to the 60's. The soundtrack was killer talking about i'm rich i'm famous to a dance beat and I was dancing in my seat the entire time.

After the show we all got free pillows with the seasons pattern embroidered on them! Thanks Enrico! Then it was a quick stop backstage because the last show was a bit far away. Hung out with Alex Cunha, Marlon Teixeira and Francisco Lachowski's silly asses for a bit and Marlon had me dyingggggg. Like seriously hot boys with great senses of humor SLAY ME.

So then it was time for the last show of fashion week: Roccobarocco. One problem it was seriously far away so me and J Lin got on like a billion metros and ran our asses off. We saw The Sartorialist outside the venue and though we had missed the show but the PR girls saw us with our invites and grabbed us and escorted us quickly to the elevator and to our seats. The collection was super sick. The suits had amazing details like polka dots funky lapel pins and the shoes were MAJOR in houndstooth, suede and velvet. They even presented childrens looks with the most adorable child models ever. Seriously it was a fun show with a complete Amy Winehouse soundtrack. The perfect show to end fashion week with.

The fashion show were over finally but not the parties so it was home for a quick nap before the nights shennanigans. We originally planned to go to the Pink Press Day but we ended up walking forever in the cold that night to discover it had ended early. No free booze. W/E. Rafal's model agency was throwing an end of fashion week party for all the models still left in Milan because most had gone to Paris already. Ania being the superstar she is invited all these hot polish male models over INCLUDING Mariusz Smolinski (remember those Armani ads with the platinum blonde guy) .I DIE. We got (excuse my common language) white girl wasted.

Somehow we got to Hollywood where this model party was taking place in one drunken piece and walked right in without paying because we were with hot male models. Yay us. It was insanity. Like seriously the whole time I was like omg I saw YOU, YOU, AND YOU WALK TODAY. And they were all like and now you'll see us DRINK! Pictures are better than words in this case so here you go. IT WAS MODELS GONE WILD.

that party left all of us dying but satsfied we had ended fashion week with a bang. We left early which for Milan is 4 a.m but guess what? TAXI STRIKE and it took us forever to get home. Our boys Daniel and Rafal came back with us and we all cuddled in the bed before they ran off to the airport to go jet off to Berlin Fashion Week and Poland and whatnot to do fashion model-ish things. But here's a shot of them being adorable as usual.

and we all lived happily ever after. THE END

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