PPQ + Basso & Brooke parties. "It's WAR BITCH!"

It was dark in London already and me and Cole were rushing from a fashion show SOBER, which was a problem. We had been invited to attend the...

It was dark in London already and me and Cole were rushing from a fashion show SOBER, which was a problem. We had been invited to attend the PPQ party that night and were meeting Sophie & Flo in trashy Soho first. Like seriously for a gay district it was full of really hideous and badly dressed creepy old men and grody twinks. Whatevs we weren't staying there and soon I would be in a drunken bliss with the who's who of London. We met up with the oh so lovely Theo Regisford a fabulous stylist/socialite. SERIOUSLY though everybody in London says they're a ____/socialite and I love it when they really are. Anyways we arrived to DSTRKT and we were like the first people there so we climbed into a comfy booth high above everyone else and started out the night right.

I was the first person drunk and everybody loved it, then everybody was drunk and the british accents got really thick and I couldn't understand anything but I kept laughing. AND THEN this security guy comes over and says "DO YOU HAVE RED WRISTBANDS" and i'm like "NO BUT I'M FABULOUSSSSS" and he's like "THIS IS PIXIE LOTTS TABLE NOW" and we're all like WTF. At this point the party is packed and everybody has their tables and now that Pixie Lott's scandalous ass decided she wanted our prime club real estate we're table-less. So we get up and Pixie flops down and flips her hair and rubs on Oliver Cheshire. I'm all like "IT'S SOCIALITE WAR BITCH" and she smiles.

At this point we grab more free drinks and decide to head to the even better party for Basso & Brooke at Jalouse. The cab ride was a MAJ shitshow. I don't even remember what Floriana was saying but it was so bad/funny at the same time. She was coming onto the cabbie? IDK. So we arrive to Jalouse and there's a long ass queue so I strut up to the front swaddled in my fur and say "Louis Pisano" and nod at the velvet rope, she looks a little dear in the headlights and i'm like "I'm with HELENA" and scowl. She quickly lifts the rope up letting us in and angering the queue. The club is PACKED and we head to the back room that's been reserved for Basso & Brooke and slip into the table with a view of the entire club.

little do we know that the table we're sitting at is the designers table but HEYYYY BIG BOTTLES.

almost as soon as we finish the supersize bottle of Grey Goose this crazy botoxed woman in head to toe Basso & Brookes comes over really drunk introducing herself as Chris Brooks (the designer) sister or cousin or something. She points out we are at the table reserved for him and his parents (which would explain the awkward old people in the corner) we start to explain and she cuts us off with "BUT YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL SO ITS COOL. LETS DANCE!" and we're all like fuck yeah! she looks out at the "normal people" and say "MY GOD I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH MAN MADE FIBER IN MY LIFE" and then i'm in love.

then the fashion party goes into overdrive. Everybody is exhausted from the shows and lets go.

I kept hitting my head on these spikes while dancing on the table

Basso & Brooke A/W 12 print

Cole was wasty faced but we love drunk modelz

we're all so drunk and yet so self aware.



then some girl started playing with fire and the party was out of control and I died.

I don't remember anything at this point. Well except 1 sexy detail that you guys don't get to find out about. Nevermind. I hooked up with a cab driver and that was that.

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